xRyanx

hey, if you were a fan of this journal you should really check out the new one. the drama is really kicking in heavey now. just go to xasdfx... and comment to be my friend. and if you aint got an account talk to me, maybe I can hook you up with a code. cause I'm a nice guy like that. peace.


asdf

this journal is finished...

...there is a new friends only one: xasdfx

leave a comment on there if you want to be added.

.yea thats it.


.end.

just when you think people have changed and are trying to be nice.... Nope. nothing ever changes.

Jess, fuck you. hows that for cheering up?

Don't fucking comment on here and try to be friendly and bullshit, and then just go on your own journal and say how you laughed at some asshole (me) because I said in my journal I was having a shitty time. It's stupid shit like this that makes me glad we aren't friends anymore. which is a god damn shame because I thought you were a cool person once.

This being sad thing is really getting old... I miss being happy. I don't mean short moments of happyness, I mean truly happy... and the hardest part of this all is the solution I've been thinking of. Things are bound to get worse before they get better.


On a better note, I just looked at my wrist and remembered how much I still love my tattoo. but now thinking of it, it just reminds me of something else that is adding to the complexity (is that how you spell it?) of this whole thing. Fuck me and my morals.

Christmas shopping this morning. People I'm done shopping for...

Pat
Danielle
Denis
Xtain

Money spent... $160

Things I ended up buying for my self...

New copy of StartToday (GorillaBiscuits) (Vinyl)
Exit English (Strike Anywhere)
A ticket to the midnight showing of Lord Of The Rings (me and xtain are going... thats his gift)

Stores I went to looking for Danielle's gift... five.
Stores I found Danielle's gift in... zero.
I had to get her something diffrent, but I'm still determined to get her the original gift too.

People I still need to shop for...

Mom
Glenn
Christina
Dan
Lianne
Lucais
Courtney
Mookie

I think that's it?

Money I estimate I will spend...$300?

Where I'm getting this money... I have no idea. :(

Oh and if anyone wants to know what I want for Xmas.... absolutly nothing. Just be a good friend to me. :)

I've got $120 bucks... that's going towards some new cds. not for me.

well, I went out for a drive and started to feel better, actually by the time i got home I wasn't really feeling bad at all. but now I feel like a complete asshole. I'm feeling even worse then I've felt in a long time. I've been concerned about a friend because he seems to be down and distant, and now I find out I'm a main reason why he's this way. this sucks. I feel like the biggest piece of shit ever.

BASICS
(1) Your gender: male
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: nope
(4) want to be?: nope
(5) Your birth day: september 4, 1985
(6) Age you act: sometimes
(7) Age you wish you were: 18, which I am.
(8) Your height: 5'11" I think
(9) The color of your eyes: brown
(10) Happy with it?: whatever
(11) The color of your hair: brown
(12) Happy with it?: sometimes
(13) Left/right/ambidextrous?: right
(14) Your living arrangement?: mom, me, brother
(27) Your family: mom, me, brother
(29) What's your job: Loews Movie thearter
(30) Piercings?: 00 plugs in each ear
(31) Tattoos?: XXX right wrist. Star left ankle. sXe right ankle
(32) Obsessions?: too many...
(35) Do you speak another language?: nope
(36) Have a favorite quote?: nope
(37) Do you have a webpage?: nope

DEEP THOUGHTS about life and you in it

(38) Do you live in the moment?: sometimes
(39) Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: sometimes
(40) Do you have any secrets? yes
(41) Do you hate yourself?: sometimes
(42) Do you like your handwriting?: who cares
(43) Do you have any bad habits?: yup
(44) What is the compliment you get most from people?: none
(45) If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: the puppy who lost his way
(46) What's your biggest fear?: spiders, high places, drowning.
(47) Can you sing: I can pretend
(48) Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: nope
(49) Are you a loner?: a real rebel.
(51) If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: yup
(52) Are you a daredevil?: yup
(53) Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: yup. lots.
(54) Are you passive or aggressive?: passive
(55) Have you got a ?: not at the moment
(56) What is your greatest strength and weakness?: don't have any strenghts, too many weaknesses.
(57) If you could change one thing about yourself? I hate being such a big person.
(58) There are three wells, love, beauty and creativity, which one do you choose?: I don't like this question
(59) How do you vent?: drive
(60) Do you think you are emotionally strong?: hahahaha. hm.... Nope.
(61) Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: "I'm turning losses into lessons, and there's no room for regret"
(62) Do you think life has been good so far?: It could have been alot worse.
(63) What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: you never know how much something really means to you, until it is truly gone forever.
(64) What do you like the most about your body?: not a damn thing.
(65) And least?: the whole thing
(66) Do you think you are good looking?: hm...Nope.
(67) Are you confident?: sometimes.
(68) What is the fictional character you're most like?: James Bond. no, not really, but a boy can have his dreams. hahaha.
69) Do people know how you feel?: I don't know ask people not me.
(70) Are you perceived wrongly?: probly.

DO YOU...

(71) Smoke?: nope
(72) Do drugs?: nope
(73) Read the newspaper?: nope
(74) Pray?: nope
(75) Go to church? nope
(76) Talk to strangers who IM you?: no one talks to me, but if they did, i would.
(77) Sleep with stuffed animals?: nope
(78) Take walks in the rain?: I enjoy it. :)
(79) Talk to people even though you hate them?: sometimes
(80) Drive?: yup
(81) Like to drive fast?: sometimes

HAVE YOU EVER...

(82) Liked your voice?: nope
(83) Hurt yourself?: alot
(84) Been out of the country?: yes
(85) Eaten something that made other people sick?: yes
(86) Burped?: yes
(87) Been unfaithful?: nope
(88) Been in love?: yup
(89) Done drugs?: nope
(90) Gone skinny dipping?: nope
(92) Had a surgery?: nope
(93) Ran away from home?: probly
(94) Played strip poker?: nope
(95) Gotten beaten up?: yup
(97) Been picked on?: yup
(98) Been on stage?: yup
(99) Been so drunk that you know you're supposed to go out on a date with someone, but you can't remember with who or when and that you faint when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, not to mention your breath?: hm... thats a tough one... Nope.
(100) Slept outdoors?: yes
(101) Thought about suicide?: yes
(102) Pulled an all-nighter?: yup
(103) If yes, what is your record?: 52 hours
(104) Gone one day without food?: 3 days, maybe even more.
(105) Talked on the phone all night?: probly
(106) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: yes
(107) Slept all day? yes
(108) Killed someone?: nope
(109) Made out with a stranger?: nope
(110) Had sex with a stranger?: nope
(111) Thought you're going crazy?: yup
(112) Kissed the same sex?: not that I remember, but it's a possibiltiy
(113) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: hahahahahaha
(114) Been betrayed?: yup
(115) Had a dream that came true?: yup
(116) Broken the law?: no comment
(117) Met a famous person?: probly
(118) Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: yes :(
(146) Stolen anything?: yup
(147) Been on radio/TV.?: nope?
(148) Been in a mosh-pit?: nope
(149) Had a nervous breakdown? lots
(150) Considered religious vocation?: nope
(151) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: I don't think so. hahahahaha. what a question. it's funny.
(152) Bungee jumped?: nope
(153) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yup

CLOTHES and other fashion

(154) Shoe brand?: converse/vans/hawk/vegetarian shoes
(155) Brand of clothing?: whateva
(156) Cologne/perfume?: Axe Body Spray
(157) What are you normally wearing to school/work? jeans, t-shirt, hoodie/workjacket/ converse allstars
(159) Wear hats?: sometimes
(160) Judge other people by their clothing?: nope
(161) Wear make-up?: nope
(162) Favorite place to shop?: Distros
(163) Favorite article of clothing? old thrift store jeans I got for 3 bucks.
(164) Are you trendy?: probly.
(165) Would you rather wear a uniform to school?: nope

BELIEFS

(166) Believe in life on other planets?: yes
(167) Miracles?: sure why not
(168) Astrology?: thats with stars right?
(169) Magic?: only if you hide the strings this time.
(170) God? : haha. i believe they hung his ass to the cross.
(171) Satan?: nope
(172) Santa?: nope
(173) Ghosts?: yes
(174) Luck?: yes
(175) Love at first sight?: nope
(176) Yin and Yang?: yes
(177) Witches?: nope
(178) Easter bunny?: nope
(179) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yes
(180) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: nope
(181) Do you wish on stars?: yes

LOVE, and all that

(182) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: nope
(183) Do you remember your first love?: yup
(184) Still love him/her?: nope
(185) Do you consider love a mistake?: nope
(186) What do you find romantic?: rain. beach at night. stars. long drives. soft touches.
(187) Turn-on?: vegetarian/vegan. sXe. short hair. affection. honesty.
(188) Turn-off?: smoking. drinking. meat eating. dishonesty. unaffectionet. not showing you care.
(189) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: nope
(200) If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?I feel bad-0-matic.
(201) Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going "blind"?: know them
(202) Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?: sure, sounds like a plan.
(203) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?: yup
(204) Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: nope
(205) What is best about the opposite sex?: hair/eyes
(206) What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: lies
(207) What's the last present someone gave you?: I don't remember.
(209) Do you consider your significant other hot?:yea
(210) What would you do if you were walking down the street and saw some hot guy/girl standing on the sidewalk?: keep walking, and not give a shit.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON...

(211) That haunted you?: santa claus
(212) You wanted to kill?: some lady wearing a big ass fur coat today at work. I wanted to just jump over the counter and beat her to death with my bare hands.
(213) That you laughed at?: Pat glass
(214) That laughed at you?: no one.
(215) That turned you on?: jesus christ super star
(216) You went shopping with?: shopping?
(217) That broke your heart?: my self.
(218) To disappoint you?: my self.
(219) To ask you out?: hmmm, no one, ever.
(220) To make you cry?: my self.
(221) To brighten up your day?: Pat Glass
(222) That you thought about?: Christina
(223) You saw a movie with?: Luc, Denis, Max, Pat G.
(224) You talked to on the phone?: Pete
(225) You talked to through IM?: Christina
(226) You saw?: Pat G.
(227) You lost?: my self
(229) You thought was completely insane?: Pat G.
(230) You wanted to be?: My self
(231) You told off?: chris schaffer
(232) You trusted?: every, alittle too much.
(233) You turned down?: no one.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU

(234) Smiled?: an hour or more ago, at band practice.
(235) Laughed?: same
(236) Cried?: last night
(237) Bought something?: last night
(238) Danced?: never
(239) Were sarcastic?: work today
(240) hugged someone?: saturday?
(241) Talked to an ex?: an extremly long time.
(242) Watched your fave movie?: a long time
(243) Had a nightmare?: last night
(245) Talked on the phone?: on the way home from work
(246) Listened to the radio?: ew, the radio sucks.
(247) Watched TV?: ew, the tv sucks.
(248) Went out?: work work work
(249) Helped someone?: I'm no help to anyone
(250) Were mean?: probly today.
(251) Sang?: on the way home from work
(252) Saw a movie in a theater?: last night?
(253) Said "I love you"?: 30 minutes ago?
(254) Missed someone?: currently
(255) Fought with a family member?: who knows
(256) Fought with a friend?: who knows
(257) Had a serious conversation?: yesterday
(258) Got drunk?: never in my life.






Why do I spend so much time on these stupid surveys.

Last night I was feeling like shit because of somethings... so I decided to drive out to montauk to clear my head, cause I haven't gone in a while. I figured out the root of bad mood... I've been getting really tired of never getting to hang out with Christina, between me working, and her going to school I never get to see her and it's making me sick. I've been trying my best to make time to hang out, but sometimes it just seems like no matter what I do we still never see each other. it sucks, i'm sad. ha cha chachacha.

WHO
who is your best friend? I'm not really sure
who do you like? I've got a crush on the world... or Christina, which ever one comes first.
who is your mom? Cathy
who owns your house? Cathy
who bought you the clothes your wearing? shirt = me. shorts = mom
who is at your house? Me, Mom, + Glenn
who loves you? The world
who said hey to you today? alot of people
who are you talking to right now? myself
who was your last boy/girlfriend? a Liar
WHAT
what town do you live in? Selden
what are your pet peeves? people playing my drums...
what are you wearing? Shorts. GoodCleanFun t-shirt
what do your teeth look like? messed up
what are you doing in an hour? probly still doing this survey
what is your middle name? George
what is your deepest secret? I'm gay
what are you doing tomorrow? Snowfun and movies
what is your boy/girlfriends middle name? Lynn
what is in this for you? five bucks... no, I wish.
what is your favorite thing to do? Stay Positive
what are you sitting on? my fat ass
WHERE
where are you at right now? my room
where were you at at 12 noon today? sleeeping in my bed
where is your toothbrush at? one in the shower, on in the medicine cabinet.
where do you sleep? under the blankets in my bed
where do you live? under the blankets in my bed
where were you at at 7pm yesterday? GOOD CLEAN FUN
where is your boy/girl friend? around the block... sleeping in her room.
where are your parents? mom = upstairs sleeping. father = dead somewhere in virginia for all I care.
where did you put your bookbag? under my bed
where do you keep your socks? top draw of my dresser
WHEN
when was your first kiss? septemberish of 2001 i think.
when are you getting a job? I gots two
when did you graduate? 2003
when will you grow up? next week?
when are you going to call your friend? right now sounds good.... time to call lianne and thank her for putting this survey in her journal and giving me something to do for a long time.... she was sleeping... ohwell.
when did you get home last night? 5:30am
when are you going to stop taking surveys? never
when was the last time you had a fruit smoothie? thats a stupid question.... a week ago
when will you say that you love me? next monday
when are you getting married? age 25
WHY
why are you taking this? why not?
why do fools fall in love? apples. lots of apples. end of story.
why am i weird? Lesbian
why are you weird? acid
why are you wearing what your wearing right now? because I look sexy in it.
why did you fail that test? it was tough?
why dont you have friends? I'm a loser?
why did you just do that? your mom told me to?
why cant you get a boy/girl friend? I have one
why do you live where you're at? HIV
HOW
how did you know it was love? anal sex
how do you fix your hair? hammer and nails... duct tape.
how are the kids? dead
how many hours do you spend on the computer? .3
how many TV shows do you watch? nope
how did you find this survey? Lianne
how do you like it so far? hm... Nope.
how many people are living with you? 2
how may i help you? help your self first... then if you are still willing to help me, we'll talk.
how do you make sharpies? what?
how many sharpies do you own? alot
how often do you say i love you? alot
>>You and Yourself
1) What's your name? - xRyanx
2) Do you like your name? - who cares
3) What other names were your parents going to name you? i don't know, I'm not my parents.
4) And if you were born the opposite sex? - asdf
5) What is the most annoying name? - Greg
6) What is the most attractive name? - Moon or Lodus.
7) Ever wish you were a member of the opposite sex? - not that I remember
8) How often do you wash/bathe? - alot
9) Where do you shave? -
10) How do you relax? - Music/reading/Driving/stargazing
11) What are your pet peeves? - people playing my drums... people using my computer
>> You and Others
1) Who is your best friend? - I don't know
2) Why are they your best friend? -
3) Do you have many enemies? - yes
4) Do you find it easy to get along with other people? - most of the time yes.
5) Do you talk to strangers? - sometimes
6) Prefer to talk to people younger or older than you? - it's all the same to me.
7) Are you patient when talking to others? - most of the time... i think.
8) How to you deal with people that annoy you? - depends on my mood. I try to have some fun with it.
9) Would you say you are polite? - yes
10) Do you talk to your neighbours? - not willingly.
11) If you see an accident or incident, do you inquire about it? - I usually ask if they need help.
>> You and Love
1) Are you in a relationship with anyone? - yeshuh
2) If so, do you think he/she is 'the one'? - Neo?
3) If not, are you currently looking? - hm... nope.
4) Would you ever have an affair, and why? - never. I can't comprehend how someone could cheat on someone they claim to care about.
5) Do you agree with casual sex? - hm... Nope.
6) Would you have a relationship with someone that already had children? - i don't know
7) How old do you want to be when you marry? - it will happen when the time comes
9) What would you call your future children? - Lodus, Moon, April, Jane, Glenn, June. I like those choices.
10) Would you ever marry an 80-year-old millionaire? - is he cute?
11) What is your age limit for relationships? - I am pushing my threshold now, so I'd have to say three year diffrence maximum.
>> You and Life
1) What do you want as a future career? - I don't know yet
2) What are your ambitions? - friends/Fun
4) Believe in growing old disgracefully? - no
5) How would you want to die? - I don't want to live forever
6) How would you want your funeral? smiles and laughing, I don't want people to be upset, I want everyone to have a good time... so I'd probly say, I want everyone doing to chicken song/dance.
7) Would you kill yourself if a loved one died? - nope
8) If you had one last request, what would it be? - everyone co-exist in peace
9) If you only had a month to live, what would you do? - start saying goodbye to the people who matter. Get married. Get as much of the tattoo work I want done, done.
10) What is the point of life? - help others
11) What are you living for? - friends
>> What is your opinion on...
1) The war against Iraq? - fighting = thumbs down
2) Discrimination? - thumbs down
3) Smacking children? - life in prison
5) The fire service strikes? - that sucks
6) Obesity? - America's sickness.
7) Online dating? - what ever floats your boat. lol! I can't believe I just said that.
8) Adultery? - life in prison
10) Vegetarian diets? - vegans are cooler!
11) Self harm? - it sucked
>> You and Situations
1) If you could save only one person from a burning building, your favoured parental figure or a doctor with the knowledge to cure a disease such as HIV or cancer, whom would you save? - could i sacrifice my self to save them both?
2) If you (or your other half) were expecting a child, but were told that due to unfortunate complications, only the mother or child could be saved, which would you let die? - child
3) If you were trapped in a lift that was about to collapse with a elderly lady and a young boy, who has the right to escape first? - boy
4) How would you react if you came home and caught your best friend cheating on your trusted other half? - I would probly get in my car and never come back.
5) Would you sacrifice your own life for a loved one or family member? - with out hesitation
6) Would you ever donate any of your organs to anyone, either a loved one or a total stranger that needed it? - yes
7) Would you ever abort your own child, or place them up for adoption if they were disabled or unplanned? keep em.
8) If your best friend's other half was cheating on them, and you knew, would you tell your friend, or confront his other half? - confront first, then tell if they wouldn't.
9) How would you react if your own child was a murderer and placed on death row? Would you campaign for or against their life? - I couldn't possibly answer that without it actually happening.
10) If a family member or loved one were killed either through an accident or murder, would you demand justice, the killer’s death, or try and forgive them? - try for forgivness.
11) Finally, if you were called up for war, would you go for your country, or refuse and face jail? - jail

Name: xRyanx
Name on birth certificate: Ryan George Dausch
Nicknames: snuggle. asshole. bigstar.
Screen Name: Positiveapple
yahoo: ----
When is your birthday?: 9/4/85
Eye color: shit brown
Hair color: brown
Natural Hair Color: brown
Who do you love/like: Christina
Who is your best friend?: I still don't know
Who is your girl crush?: Mandy Moore
Who is your boy crush?: Travis from blink182
Your favorite people? (Up to 10): in no particular order...
1 -- Christina
2 -- Danielle
3 -- Lianne
4 -- Luc
5 -- Denis
6 -- Pat
7 -- Dan
8 -- Christian
9 -- Mookie
10 --Mommy
~RIGHT NOW~
Outfit: shorts/ goodcleanfun shirt
Hairstyle: messy
Jewelry/Accessories: plugs/blackropenecklace
Underwear: navy blue boxers
Do drugs: tons of em
Wear dark colors: tons of em
Dye your hair: not right now...
Shave strange places: stomach
~HAVE YOU EVER~
Kissed someone: yes
Killed someone: nope
Been raped: nope
Smoked: yes
Gotten Drunk: nope
Worn rainbow: no
Talked on the phone for over 3 hours: yes
Left the country: yes
Had a party with over 30 people: nope
Taken nude pictures: nope
Stolen something: yes
Caught something on fire: yes
Cheated on someone: nope
Wanted to cheat on someone: nope
Asked someone out: yup
Been dumped: nope
Dumped someone: yes
Had a dream, then the next day it happens: yes
~PICK ONE~
Cat/Dog: cats and dogs have all the luck
White/Black: black
Hot/Cold: hot
Far/Near: near
Water/Land: land
Kiss/Sex: kiss+spoon
Online/Phone: online i guess
Beer/Book: Hurray beer!
Novel/Poetry: novel
Music/Silence: depends... usually music... but silence is golden
~DREAM MATE~
shall i describe my loved one? nope
Short/Long Hair: short
Preppy/Dorky/Druggie: dorky
Freckles/No Freckles: nope
Hair Color: brown/black
Hat/No hat: who cares
Fat/Thin: who cares
Makeup/No Makeup: NO!
Dressy/Casual: whateva
Holding hands/Holding 'other body parts': holding hands
~LAST PERSON~
You Touched: T Thadius Denny
You Talked to: Pat/Luc/Denny
You Hugged: Christina
You Kissed: Christina
Had sex with: asdf
You Instant messaged: Pat
Who broke your heart: Me
~ARE YOU~
Understanding: yes
Open-minded: yes
Arrogant:
Insecure: very
Interesting: probly not
Hungry: nope
Smart: not really
Moody: sometimes
Childish: yes/no... depends
Independent: yes
Hard working: yes
Healthy: nope
Emotionally Stable: not at all
Shy: sometimes
Difficult: probably
Attractive: Not really
Bored Easily: yes
Thirsty: yes
Obsessed: yes
Angry: at popup adds
Sad: alittle
Happy: alittle
Trusting: yes
Ill: illmatic
Talkative: sometimes
Ignored: alot
Reliable: yes
Self-disciplined: yes
Sleepy: alittle
Lonely: alittle
Word Association
-dog- lucky
-brown- poop
-hot- Me
-water- cold
-bed- spoon
-flower- innocence
-cold- sad
-love- happyness
-cow- suffering/pain
-car- safe haven
-sex- condom
-phone- she doesn't like it.
-ring- ofcourse it's not her
-God- doesn't exist
-friend- happy!
-swim- drown
-rock- rebel
-sweet- jesus
-bad- drinking
-tree- climb
-school- poor
-summer- stars
-picture- goodcleanfun
-fast- heart beat
-boat- DAN!
-shower- clean
-feather- forest gump
-ear- whisper
-vomit- maple syrup
-baby- AWW.
-light- dark
-blood- pretty
Do You...
-have a boat?- I have a Dan
-have a pool?- nope
-have cable?- IO digital
-watch MTV?- Nope
-sleep nude?- sometimes.
-have a waterbed?- nope... my brother does. I don't enjoy it though.
-like cookies?- not really... sometimes.
-have DVDs?- yes
-like cheese?- nope
-have a watch?- nope
-have ICQ?- what
-sing in the shower?- nope
-have a cell phone?- yup
-keep a photo album?- nope
-drink water?- lots
-like roller coasters?- nope
-drive?- yup. alot.
-have a best friend?- probly
-know what TVU is?- nope
-listen to online radio stations?- nope
-send e-mail forwards?- nope
-like the heat?- sometimes
Food (do you like...)
-tacos?- nope
-bread?- yes
-veggies?- yes
-pizza?- I miss it.
-doritoes?- nope
-pretzles?- yes
-chocolate?- sometimes, dark chocolate = vegan safe
-garlic?- egh
-veal?- nope
-hamburgers?- nope
-chicken?- nope
-hot dogs?- nope
-ice cream?- nope
-hot pockets?- nope
-popcorn?- egh
-pop tarts?- nope
-salad?- yes!
-coke?- nope
-pepsi?- nope
-gatorade?- nope
Journal!
-How many times do you update your journal?- alot
-How many hours do you spend on here?- alot
-How does your journal look?- depressing
-How many icons do you have?- 1
-Can you do any of those cool LiveJournal overrides?- nope
-Do you have music on your journal?- nope
-Do you update your journal with font colors?- nope
-How many communities do you belong to?- 0
-Do you remember your very first entry?- nope
-When did you join LiveJournal?- I don't know
-How many LiveJournal friends do you have?- 6 i think?
-Is your journal public or friend's only?- free for everyone to see.
Have You Ever...
-bunji jumped?- not yet
-gotten a tattoo?- yes
-sky dived?- no
-skinny dipped?- nope
-gotten your tongue stuck to a cold pole?- nope
-had pop rocks and coke together?- yes
-played truth or dare?- yes
-kissed for more than 10 minutes at one time?- not in a long time
-made a prank phone call?- yes
-flashed someone?- nope
-set anything on fire?- yes
-eaten snow?- yes
-puked on someone you really liked?- nope
-eaten pure sugar?- yes
-mixed sodas together?- yes
-had sushi?- yes <3
-worn a thong or speedo bathing suit?- nope
-had dejavu? - yes
-hung up on someone?- yes
-used all cuss words in a sentence?- yes
-had the cops called on you?- yes
-stayed up for more than 24 hrs straight?- too many times
-stood on your head and drank milk?- nope
-cried during a movie?- yes
-swallowed gum?- yes
-said, "I love you" and not meant it?- not that I remember
-eaten glue?- not that I remember
-slept for more than 15 hrs?- probly
-been on a train?- yes
~OTHER~
1) Name your Top 3 bands of all Time: I can't choose
2) Name your 3 favorite albums of all time: can't choose
3) Name 3 songs you wish you'd written: anything from With*Honor, Latterman, or the suicide file.
4) Name 5 people (alive) you wish you could have dinner with and why: Five random people off the street, i think it would be fun.
5) Name 5 people (dead) you wish you could have dinner with and why: jesus... to prove he existed. my grandparents... i miss them alot.
6) If you could be in any one band, from any era, which would it be: GoodCleanFun
7) If you could have only one magical power, what would it be and why: talk to animals... what would be cooler than that?
8) If you could be one person for a day, who: George W. Bush, so I could kill my self.
9) If you could witness one event in history, what would it be: the invention of the gun... so I could smack the asshole in the head.
10) If you could change one event in history, what would it be: the birth of George Bush (senior)
11) If you could go to one city, what would it be: Somewhere in Europe
12) If you could go to one country, what would it be: england
13) Name one (music) video that you wish you'd come up with the concept for: NFG. dressed to kill
14) Name one movie set you wish you could be on. Past or present: willy wonka
15) If you could play the lead role in any movie, what movie and role would it be? Donnie Darko. Donnie Darko
16) Name one book you wish you'd written: Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk
17) If you could pose for one famous painter, who would you pose for?: Misty Marie Whalmot
18) What is the one song you want played at your funeral:YouGottaStayPositive (GoodCleanFun)
19) If you could have absolutely any career, what would you be?: writer
20) You're trapped on an island. The island has a small shack, filled with food and water, that magically replenishes itself, so you'll never go hungry. It comes complete with a bed, toilet, indoor plumbing, electricity, anything a normal house would, except it's one small room. What three things do you bring? Christina. Cds/player. books
Finish the Sentence
-I would like to go to... sleep
-I want... to feel loved right now.
-I need... money
-more than anything I... am tired
-If I won the lottery... that would be totally boss
-I love... good friends
-I see... you.
-My dream concert would be... hm... nope.
-The last thing I did was... type hm... nope.
-The last person I hugged was... Christina
-I yelled at... T Thadius Denny
-I cried when... I threw up last week.
-If I could have one pet it would be... a Raccoon
-Last night... was totally boss
-Right now... means everything to me
-Love is... actually all around
-I hate... liars
-My favorite phrase is... -----
-The last person I saw was...Pat/Luc?Denis
-My parents... aren't togeter anymore
-God is... dead
-My favorite sport is... buttsex
-My favorite band is... Theeslar
-I last ate... fritos/hummus
-I'd like to... kiss Christina right now.
-On a scale of 1-10, I rate this survey...4.5

end. asdf.

Started at 3:57... it's now... 5:46. what a waste of life... sleep time.

Maryland posi list:

+Starting the trip with an empty tank of gas
+Running out of gas across the street from the gas station
+Denis getting a dollar of gas in some gas can and not using it.
+Having 20$ in nickles dimes and quarters for tolls
+Spinning out on the NJ turnpike and hitting the wall
+SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW!
+Seeing an overturned truck.
+Getting pictures of the over turned truck
+Getting two trucks to blow their air horns
+Free salads at RoyRogers
+Finishing Diary by Chuck Palahniuk
+Luc peeing in a coffee tin, insted of stopping to get him pee
+Making it to the show alive.
+Fairweather
+Pat's new camera and lots of pictures.
+Brett being big and fun
+GOOD CLEAN FUN!!!!!!!!
+Getting the mic alot
+Singing along with friends
+Smiling through every word
+Pat getting more pictures
+Song for the Ladies.
+Who Shares Wins
+Seeing Hoey on stage for Who Shares Wins
+Getting on stage for Shopping for a crew
+Jumping off the stage.
+Smiling the entire set
+Being the only person to "floorpunch"/"pick up change" during Shopping for a crew.
+Issa being one of the nicest people ever.
+Leaving before Darkest Hour.
+Getting changed in pat's car after the show.
+Snowball fights
+Rest stops
+Food/Drinks
+pissing of Hoey with RobZombie Stickers
+Peeing in a bottle.
+Spinning out on the expressway at 4am (by spinning out I mean doing a 540)
+Waking up after 90 degress (sidways) and out of nowhere saying "Hurray Beer!" like a Jamacan (I don't know how to spell that word).
+Peeing in a bottle again (new bottle)
+Ebrake fun on the expressway
+Getting home alive
+Getting home from Pat's alive.
+Sleep

(I know I missed alot on this list, so when pat puts his up I'll probly revise mine. or just leave it.)


I think the only Negitive thing about this entire trip was not going to Mass, but it's alright because the show was cancled anyway. Tomorrow is gonna be soo awesome. and remember
AlwaysbeGOOD
AlwaysstayCLEAN
AlwayshaveFUN

Christina (3:51:12 PM): you bleach blond bitch you're a little too full of yourself thinking everyone wants your boyfriend i think you need to pull your gigantic fat forehead out of his ass and shut up before i beat you and your forehead to a bloody pulp you stupid UGLY BLEACH KIKE
-Rachel's concerned friend

I'm sick of this bullshit. I don't care who's starting it. I just want it to end.


ok... aside from dramarama...

Work was actually pretty fun today. I opened kitchen like I do every other thursday. Joanne was consession supervisor so we had fun joking around and talking shit about Dyan... no one likes Dyan, not ever Dyan. Delivery came and i didn't have to help... but with delivery came our new free samples... Juicy Fruit gum packs... I stole three boxes today... that's a whole lot of gum. I went to cash my paycheck at Walbums and saw Catherine on the way, totally brightened up my day even more... she's just such a nice person and you can't help but smile and be happy when you talk to her. After work I came home to do alot of nothing. I ended up just putting the backupPlan on and breaking my drums down for sunday. After that I hung out with glenn for a bit. then did alot more nothing. I got kinda really down because today was Christina and I 's one month... (which I guess isn't such a big deal but it is to me)... and I didn't even really talk to her at all today. I talked to her for about 2 minutes inbetween the two movies I watched tonight. just to back track a little... after hanging out with glenn I sat around some more hoping Christina would come back from being away online, but she didn't even though her away message changed. so I got tired of waiting and decided to see a movie... i wanted to see Love Actually again but it was already 6:30 and it started at 6:10 and the next showing wasn't until 9:40 so i said "hey why don't I go see another movie before that?".... and so I went to see another movie before that. I saw the 6:40 Elf. on the way to the movies I called Ricky to see if he wanted to come. he wasn't able to though. so I told him we would go together sometime next week. about half way through the movie my phone rang... I was hoping it was christina, but i knew it wouldn't be, because she doesnt do the phone. it was ricky, he asked me if I still wanted to see a movie, i told him I was already in a movie but I was going to see another one tonight and asked if he wanted to join... he was game so I told him I would call when I got out of Elf. Then Joe called me seeing if I wanted to go to Kings Park Psychward with him... i had to decline. He told me he would call me around 1 to see if I wanted to hang out than, I said cool and we both went back to what we were doing. After elf I called ricky and then picked him up. we went back to my house for a minute... this is the point in time I talked to Christina for 2 minutes. I was then off to pick up pat, followed by Luc. We then went to see Love Actually. Pat went to sleep on the floor in the corner of the thearter about an hour into the movie. at the end of the movie Luc woke pat up by slaping him in the ass with his belt. Then I took everyone home and came home myself. as of now i'm in a kinda shitty mood... inpart because of my concerns of how things are going with Christina, and inpart because I was suppose to hang out with Lianne (but we didnt because she fell asleep I guess and never called back) tonight because we haven't hung out in a while and I have some things I need to talk to her about. joe just called me as I was typing this out, and I had to decline hanging out because I just don't feel upto it. I should be sleep right now because I have a long day tomorrow. but sleep just doesn't seem to be an option right now. I kinda feel like going for a drive but I don't feel like going alone, so I'm probly just gonna sit here listening to music and feeling shitty.

Tomorrow I put all of this aside for the weekend, and enjoy GOODCLEANFUN. End.asdf

So...

woke up around 11 this morning
Dan was at my house
I missed Dan alot
I hugged Dan
We took my car to get a new tire
Dan went to class
I played with my drums
Dan came home from class
Dan and I went through our set for sunday
We then picked up my car
I borrowed 25bucks from Dan
I am poor
Dan and I then played for a bit more
Dan received a phone call from DanKepa
Found out Mookie was in a car accident
Zarcone came over
Waited for T Thadius Deny
Left for the hospital
Saw Xtain on the way
Dan got out of the car with us and went with Xtain
Got to the hospital
Saw Mookie's brother, girlfriend, and friends.
Visited Mookie (he broke three bones in his leg)
Got Mike&Ike Cherry Cola candies
Left the hospital
Had Band Practice
Dan played my drums
I got uptight and annoyed
Did more practicing
T Thadius picked up real well for his first practice
Captain Thadius might be playing bass for the GCF show
Ended Practice
Joked around alot
Everyone left
Called Luc
Luc called Back
Sat around
Talked to Rachel online (it's cool we are talking again without fighting and whatnot)
Talked to Kieth online
Did alot of nothing
Luc called again
I took moms credit card
Left my house
Got gas ($21.26 worth of plus)
Picked Luc up
Went to the movies
Watched The Missing
Made some jokes
Saw Clint Howard and lost all hope for the movie
Watched the rest of the movie
Didn't hate it/Didn't love it
Left movies
Heard the clapping part in I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other peoples buisness by BOYSNIGHTOUT
Told Luc we have to have a clap part at the end of one of our songs
Discust the clap part
Both got psyched about the clap part
Thought of a name Group Effort (tell me what you think)
Dropped Luc off
Drove home
Tried the front door
It was locked
Walked around back
Walked inside
Here I am
End
ASDF.

.sevenfoureightfourseventhreetwo.

AHH! Good Clean Fun Friday! I can't FN wait. Nothing is going to unposi me this week. especailly after band practice last night. where we wrote the sickest song ever! I'm so insanely psyched about this band. It's turning out to be everything I want in a band. I'm hoping it will bring me some more hope for Another Day, because as of right now things aren't seeming at their best. But I'm not about to let anything die. Ah! I'm just too excited about GCF. This is gonna be so awesome. I can't wait to play the show on sunday with HvsB the Reform OnTheRise and GOOD CLEAN FUN! I put new heads on my snare and both toms, so my kit is sounding alittle better. it needs a good tuning but I'll do that wednesday night or thursday night when I'm awake at 3am not able to sleep because I'm so excited. I've been listening to the WithHonor ep like none stop since I bought it Friday, so now I'm like "YEA! we have to write like this!" haha, they are just soo awesome. Other things that are awesome... My new Xmas tree. hahaha. Mom bought me a little like 4 foot fake tree for my room. it's got crazy lights on it and everything. It makes me smile. hahaha. more awesome things... waking up this morning to this sent to my away message...
nadesico123 (1:11:46 AM): so i'm watching this movie
Auto response from positiveapple (1:11:46 AM): You gotta stay POSITIVE!
nadesico123 (1:11:50 AM): and the guy says to the little girl
nadesico123 (1:11:54 AM): don't move
nadesico123 (1:11:59 AM): they can't see us if we don't move
nadesico123 (1:12:08 AM): meaning the amazing t rex..was a shitty dino
nadesico123 (1:12:16 AM): and his vision was based on movement
nadesico123 (1:12:26 AM): MORE LIKE HIS VISION WAS BASED ON HIM BEING A FUCKING PUSSY
nadesico123 (1:12:29 AM): god
nadesico123 (1:12:35 AM): t rex is like a bully 5th grader
nadesico123 (1:12:42 AM): and the ice age was fucking middle school
nadesico123 (1:12:53 AM): and he got fucking BITCHED OUT BY THE COLD
nadesico123 (1:13:04 AM): god creates dinosaurs
nadesico123 (1:13:08 AM): god destory's dinos
nadesico123 (1:13:12 AM): god creates man
nadesico123 (1:13:19 AM): man destroy's god.
nadesico123 (1:13:25 AM): man creates dinosaurs
nadesico123 (1:13:28 AM): YO FUCK THAT SHIT.
nadesico123 (1:13:30 AM): HOW ABOUT
nadesico123 (1:13:37 AM): ERIC CREATES PROBLEMS WITH HIS BASEBALL BAT
nadesico123 (1:13:50 AM): i'm putting an all out message to all those cockfag pussies
nadesico123 (1:13:55 AM): you want a shot at the title
nadesico123 (1:14:07 AM): i got 1 baseball bat and alot of hate that say no dino can take notorious
nadesico123 (1:14:09 AM): not now
nadesico123 (1:14:12 AM): not on there turf
nadesico123 (1:14:27 AM): not even on that shitty island that jeff goldblum is hitting on "elli"
nadesico123 (1:14:31 AM): fucking bitch's
nadesico123 (1:14:34 AM): i'm out.
nadesico123 (1:14:35 AM): one.
nadesico123 (1:14:45 AM): -notor fucking ious

Eric is nuts.But very awesome

I think that's enough for this entry... Shut it down.

positive list...
+New Job (I hope it's positive, and not complete shit)
+WithHonor Ep.
+Almost done reading "Diary" (Chuck Palahniuk)
+Eating without throwing up.
+My new Loreal kids watch I found at work today.
+"New Band" Practice
+"New Band" New song!
+"New song" breakdown!
+New Skins on drums
+Luc and I going to see Bad Santa after practice.
+BAD SANTA!
+Mom buying me a mini Xmas tree for my room.
+Ending the night listening to Mandy Moore
+Knowing that I get to hang out with Christina tomorrow.

Negitive list
-Waking up at 4:50am
-Waiting for my interview
-Not being able to sleep again before work
-Work
-Missing Christina
-Razor burn
-80$ for three new drum skins and 2 pairs of sticks.
-Still having to get my car fixed.




I think I'm gonna shave my head tomorrow morning... this morning what ever. Maybe, we'll see when we wake up. I don't know why I say we, but it works. Night

waking up at 4:50am sucks alot. i stumble through every question at the interview... I think I may have still gotten the job though, which means i have to be at work at 3am every day mon-thur. This should be exciting.



Time to dream in Japanese befor work....

Second night in a row throwing up. today in total has sucked. but tomorrow is gonne be completly awesome... New band practice. I'm determained to not get down at all tomorrow. I have to be awake in like 5 hours for a job interview at UPS... I feel like such shit right now. I just want everything to go in fast forward to band practice, then fast forward again to friday for GCF.

asdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdfasdf

I'm in an extremly shitty mood now. I just got a new 10cd cdchanger for my car. and in the process of installing it I fucked everything up and I can't get my dashboard back together. I've gotten so fustrated I just gave up. my car is sitting in pieces right now. Contributing to my bad mood... I had a talk with Christina the other day about how we never get to hang out because of me working so much, so she suggested that we hang out when I get out of work as much as possible... like today... have I spoken to her today? hmm... nope. ohwell, I'm on my way to feeling positive with some good tunes. I think I just need to put on a good movie and lay down with a cup of tea to warm this cold heart up. hahahahaha.




Confessions are too few and far between... So I'm not holding my breath, because I don't look too good in blue.

I <3 thebackupplan

things that were positive this weekend...

Hanging out with friends
To-Furkey
Show
New cd's & Records
Shadow puppets
sushi
soy milk
HeadsVSBreakers
With Honor
Friends
Friends
Friends
Seeing Christina
Scaring the shit out of Danielle
playing on big roller thingy
driving west on 25A to get to Montauk. haha pat is great.
Sleep
me and luc chugging a bottle of maple syrup. (luc did it first so he got paid... I did it second and did a whole lot more for free.)
SEEING ALICIA!
Rocketship park
TIM!
posi
osip
sipo
ipos
posi


Not so positive things...

Work
Trowing up after chugging maple syrup
being depressed
house being a mess
work
Lucky peeing on the floor
no gas
spending my whole pay check on vinyl and cd's
still working at the bikeshop that I hate.



End of the list... I'm really bored now, I've got a house to clean but if anyone reading this today wants to hang out today or tonight give me a call or talk to me on aim.